Not alone
by Writer207
Summary: After another regeneration, the Doctor sits alone in his TARDIS, contemplating his lonely life. That is, until the TARDIS decides to show him a reason not to be alone. (one-shot)


**Not alone**

* * *

The lonely man was sitting in his TARDIS. He hadn't said anything for hours - instead, he spent those hours staring at the mirror. It showed him a man of average human age, an everyman in every possible way. The man's thoughts have been drifting, going in all kinds of directions, all about his newest body.

He had regenerated only hours ago. This was his seventeenth or eighteenth regeneration. He hadn't lost count, but he was forgetful. He had lived three thousand five hundred years now, longer than most Gallifreyans, of which the last hundred years were spent in solitude. With such an age, there were things you could forget. But with such an age, it was also easy to remember things gone by.

He did not just wonder about his newest body. He thought about all of the shouldn't haves and should haves, about what could have been and couldn't have been, had he done things differently. His thoughts drifted more often to his most recent 'failures', his most recent mistakes.

He should have immediately left the graveyard of Manhattan - Amy and Rory could have led such a different life. He should not have just accepted the fate of River Song just because her fate was set in stone. He should have stopped Clara before she faced her demise. He should not have allowed Jackson Samyn to travel with him - he had a good job, a nice family, two great kids and he threw that all away to save the Doctor's fourteenth incarnation from the Sontarans, sacrificing himself to save the Doctor and the planet.

There were many more mistakes he has made, but those were the ones that most frequently popped up. They were the reason why he opted to save the universe on his own, with the occasional companion from the place he was going to save, but he never invited anyone inside his TARDIS. The people around him just kept getting hurt. He learned that the hard way, eventually. The company was nice, but their safety was more important than their company.

He missed it. But it was for their own good, he reminded himself. Whoever he would've picked up, he was protecting them by not allowing them in his TARDIS. Besides, he still had his trusty TARDIS, his one true friend. Yet, she still was just as unpredictable as ever.

The unpredictable nature of the TARDIS was once again confirmed when she dematerialised on her own accord, startling her passenger. He almost flew into the wall before he found something to hold on to during this wobbly ride.

As soon as it had started, it was over. The man scrambled to his feet and ran his hand through his hair. He walked to the controls and slammed his hands on it. _No,_ he thought to himself. _Not me._ Maybe one of his previous incarnations acted like that, but not him. Not anymore.

"I'm sorry," he said, "But where have you brought me?" The rethorical question did not get an answer. The man slowly turned his head to the doors and he slowly walked towards them. He hesitated for a moment before opening them.

It was a nice, sunny day, though it had just rained. The TARDIS had parked herself at the side of a road. The man saw the row of small houses, standing neatly next to another, leaving no space between them.

Cautiously, the man took a step out of the TARDIS and he looked around. On this side of the road, there was the same row of houses, all two floors high and all the same bricks and steep roofs. The TARDIS had materialised at a twenty-meter distance from a crossroads. This was enough nformation for the man to figure out where they were. A village – no, the outskirts of a city. On the horizon, there were some taller buildings. They had to be on Earth, obviously. It was about the early 21st century, the late 20th century. Probably somewhere in Europe, though presumably in the UK.

He turned his head to the TARDIS and shrugged. "Why did you bring me here?" He asked her.

She did not answer. Of course she didn't, she couldn't speak. But there were voices in the distance, voices that came closer and closer. The man turned his head to the source and found himself looking at the crossroads. And that moment, the people who were talking came into view.

The man's hearts throbbed when he saw them. A girl and a boy, from a distant past, whom he never dared to forget, walking together. Rose Tyler and Mickey Smith. They crossed the road and seemed to be going straight forward, not giving him a second glance. Not even noticing the man near the blue box, who stared at them in amazement.

The man was only able to move again when the two disappeared out of view. He turned to the TARDIS again and gulped. Slowly, he entered the TARDIS again and made his way the controls. Unlike the first time, he placed his hands gently on the controls and sighed deeply.

"Why here?" He asked again. "What are you trying to tell me?" It has been a lifetime since he had seen Rose Tyler. Thousands of years. He never planned to go see her, to go and open up old wounds. So why here? Why did she bring him back to Rose Tyler?

The TARDIS probably was trying to tell him something. But as soon as she dematerialised again, the man knew there was a second part to this message. This time, he held onto the controls until the TARDIS materialised again.

He had to hold back the urge to say "stop doing that" and instead immediately walked to the door. This time, he just opted to take a peek instead of leaving the TARDIS.

Another sight out of thousands, way more recognizable than the last. Magnificent Lake Silencio in the distance, with four people having a picnic nearby. He could not see them clearly, as the TARDIS kept her distance this time, but he knew who they were. Amy, Rory, River Song and himself, a thousand years younger, when he was still into fezzes and bowties. A smile crept on his face. Those were the carefree days – as carefree as they could be, at least – any minute now, the astronaut would emerge from the lake and 'kill' him.

He pulled his head back inside the TARDIS and closed the doors again. Astonished by the sight, he again walked back to the controls. He did not repeat the question to her – it was clear why. She had shown him his old friends, she brought him there to teach him something.

And by now, he had figured out what she was trying to tell him. _You need friends. You need companionship._ Sure, his life was dangerous, but since when has that stopped anyone? But they weren't the ones to change their attitudes – it was the Doctor who had to change the attitude. There'd always be danger. There'd always be times where he could lose his life. And saving people was fun, but spending time with people he loved, liked, had befriended, generally having fun with them across time and space was even better.

Besides, loneliness wasn't something he liked or something he fared well in. he needed people by his side, to share the fun with.

The man patted the controls and laughed. He finally got it. He shouldn't be alone.

"Thanks," he said, "I needed that."

With renewed courage, the Doctor continued his travelling.


End file.
